Two Years On…

It’s been 731 days (2016 was a leap year) / 24 months / 2 years since my little Kiwi family moved to Southern California. Some days it feels like it’s flown by, and others it feels like it’s been forever.

This time last year I wrote about five discoveries I made within the first 12 months, so I thought I’d give you an update on the last year. But, ummm, not much has changed. I could basically repost that blog…

• The kids are still adaptable. No matter what situation we throw them into (new school, new babysitter, new destination, new environment), they are fine. In another 6 months time, the kids will have lived in America for half of their life. Is this going to make them more American than Kiwi? We shall have to see. But I tell you one thing, I’m determined to be a ‘Mum’ not a ‘Mom’ and they hilariously know the difference between the two.
• It’s still the little things that mean the most.
  • Communication: A message from home (whether physical mail, email, or a message on social media) totally makes my day and lets me know that folks back home haven’t forgotten that we exist. It also amazes me the random people that we get messages from, which I love too. For example, an aunty (that I haven’t had a lot to do with over the years) randomly sent a NZ native bird calendar for Christmas last year. It was totally unexpected, meant the world to us, and has been proudly on display in our kitchen all year.
  • Coffee: Still the thing I miss the most (besides people). A big thanks to Mum for the 120 x Mocha sachet care package that arrived yesterday. This should keep me in caffeine until Christmas.
  • The Familiar: Whether it’s Crowded House playing on the radio, glimpsing a NZ brand while shopping or seeing someone wearing a NZ T-shirt (side note: I’ve discovered that it’s not just Kiwis that wear these, I kind of forgot that tourists that have visited NZ might also own and wear these). I’ll even settle for hearing an Aussie accent to make me feel a little closer to home!
• I’m still a newbie and it’s still exhausting. I don’t think I’ll ever work out how California or the USA works. The red tape for anything is incredibly frustrating. I’m sure my local Multiple Birth Club still allows my membership just so I’ll continue to entertain them with my bizarre ‘only in America’ questions.
• It’s still friggin hard to make friends as an adult. We still have no mates. No one to go for a spontaneous coffee with or invite around for a quiet Friday night alcoholic beverage. But we’ve been trying! Kids, work and travelling Hubby do hinder the process. I’m hoping that we’ll meet a few like minded families now that the kids have started school (fingers crossed the twin tornados make some school friends who have fun parents)!
• And …. It’s still friggin lonely.
  • Owning your own business and working from home is a lonely road. Although I have Lizzy (the lizard living in our backyard) to discuss life with when I’m taking a break from the computer, I’m sure human interaction would be a lot more interesting. Side note: is it possible to become a crazy lizard lady instead of a crazy cat lady?
  • Thankfully the Hubby has travelled a lot less this year than last (she says, while he’s in the middle of a 3+ week work trip).

It’s not that we have been sitting at home and twiddling our thumbs. Far from it. But it’s a case of ‘life just goes on’.

BEING IN LIMBO
I’m also finding living here a bit like being in limbo. It’s kind of like I’m stuck, waiting…. Waiting for some sign of what the future holds. Our current Visas are up mid 2018, so we’ve booked a trip back to NZ early next year to apply for a two year extension. But what then?

Our couch is in dire need of replacement, but I’m just holding on to see how long we’ll be here, as I don’t want to have to move a new couch, a new bed, new pots and pans, new dinner set, etc back to New Zealand in a couple of years time. Limbo!

I’d love to decorate our house, make the gardens pretty, create a HOME, but we are only renting. We can only sign a lease up to the length of our Visa (currently mid next year). Limbo! Side note: Man, I hate being a tenant. We do a better job of landlording our NZ based property from half a world away!

If I was in NZ right now, the kids would be in full time school, and I’d be either finally expanding my business or going back to work for someone else. The insurance and business set up costs here are currently prohibitive to taking on USA based clients, but it’s getting tougher to gain new New Zealand based business from 10,500 kms away. And, who locally would want to hire a part timer (kids are only in 1/2 day Kinder this year) who may only be in the country for another 2.5 years? Limbo!

My health has been a bit rough for the past year – my back (L5, S1) is stuffed from kids, several accidents and working at a desk. The medical system here is so different and difficult to navigate – an ice pack and pain meds is all they offer. I long for the relief I’d get from regular physio visits that involved subsidised massage and rehabilitation in New Zealand. So, I suck it up, take the meds when it gets bad, do the exercises that NZ doctors prescribed and wait. Limbo!

WHAT I DO WHEN I MISS HOME?
I often have bouts of homesickness. I know it sounds like I’m whinging, but don’t get me wrong. There are things I LOVE about California:

• The weather.
• Amazon Prime (basically you can buy whatever you want and have it delivered the next day).
• The weather.
• Raspberries all year round.
• The weather.
• The variety of everything.
• The weather.

But, sometimes your heart just wants the comforts of home. And, not ‘home is where the heart is’ home (that’s here with Hubby and twin tornados wherever we are) but ‘home for over 35 years with the things you are most familiar with’ home. So, here’s how I indulge my senses:

Taste: When I’m missing the flavours of home, I rip open a pack of kiwi confectionery from my secret stash or I turn to my good old Edmonds Cook Book and whip up a batch of scones or afghans. I wish I could track down a decent supply of NZ red wine…

A batch of Kiwi ‘Afghan biscuits’

Sight: I stare longingly at the New Zealand postcards that line our kitchen doorway (PS – the pipeline of these seems to have dried up, so feel free to send more), rearrange our ever growing and much loved collection of Kiwiana or read the kids one of the many Kiwi books that we own.

Sound: You’ll often hear kiwi music rising from our stereo. Belting out a good ‘Home Again’ by Shihad, or ‘Loyal’ by Dave Dobbyn is always a great way to feel closer to NZ. I also made a conscious effort to resurrect the twin tornados favourite Maori tunes, such as ‘Ma is White‘ during Maori Language week recently. Ka Pai!

There are also certain songs that remind me of certain friends/family from home. Side note: if a certain kiwi twin mum is reading this, she should expect a call this weekend as I’m off to see Eve 6 play (whenever one of us hears ‘Inside Out’ play, the other usually gets some sort of message).

And, NOTHING beats a phone call to someone from home to hear that familiar Kiwi accent.

Smell: Smell isn’t a big memory trigger for me. We went camping for the first time last month and the clean fresh air kind of reminded me of home, while peeling boiled eggs gives me a faint reminder of Rotorua (ha ha ha).

Touch: This is the hard one. This is the one that is impossible to replicate. Some days what I’d give for a hug with those I miss the most! Our favourite thing about living here is the visitors we get (and we’ve had a few). They bring the best hugs with them!

I’m still the same. I haven’t changed – just a little older and wrinklier. And, I’m sure everyone back home is pretty much the same too. Funny how that happens!

 

So there you have it – basically the same list as a year ago! Maybe it’s us, maybe we’re just boring.  We have actually done a hell of a lot over the last 12 months – there’s still a lot of stories from this year that I haven’t got up on this blog yet. Stay tuned.

In the mean time, I’d love to hear what you’ve been up to. So, please send me a message and let me know what’s new with you.

Oh, and could you also please send more postcards.

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